Monday, December 5, 2016

♫...No beginning, no end bleeding like a fountain pen...♫

Sex is fun.
Periods, not so much.
Sex on your period can be absolutely fucking amazing though. Orgasms can alleviate cramps and headaches. A lot of women find themselves really horny during their time of the month too. There are a host of benefits to getting it on while on  your period. I've gone into them before, there are a million articles on it all over the Internet. I'm not going to rehash all the good reasons why you should not stop having sex just because there are communists in the fun house.

I want to talk about why so many people don't.

We all know the reasons: The mess or 'ewww, it's gross!'. First of all, if you're in the 'eww, it's gross' category I'm going to assume you're too young to be having sex anyway. Have you ever had a guy cum inside of you, and then hours later when you've moved on to something else experience all of that suddenly just exit your lady cave, and roll down your legs? While you're talking to your mother who chooses to believe you're a 30-something year old virgin? Sex isn't always pretty and clean. Hell, if it's good sex we're both sweaty, and wet, with lots of saliva, and mascara running all down my face when it's over. A little bit of blood (it's never really as much as you think it's going to be) isn't any grosser than the other bodily fluids being exchanged.

That brings us to the 'mess' factor. First of all, like I said a moment ago, it's never as much blood as you probably expect it to be. It's not going to end up looking like a brutal crime scene. You can put a towel down if you're worried about your sheets. You can hop in the shower or the bath. I've had some success with ginger tea shortening and lightening my own period. There's a million and one ways to ease the 'it's so messy' mentality.

What I really want to talk about is sex on your period when you're not in a relationship. When you have a partner, or you're with a long term lover the towel/bath/just not caring aspect of the 'it's so messy' mentality is easier. It just is. You've probably gotten over any embarrassment you might feel. What about the times when you're just trying to get laid, or when you have a new lover that you're just not at that level of comfort with yet? There are ways and means. Now, people have told me that they have had great success with SoftCups or the Instead cups. Basically a band of plastic that slips up around your cervix that has this baggie thing attached. It's sorta like my Diva Cup in method of collection, but much less bulky in that your partner is not supposed to feel it. For me, this doesn't really work because the plastic band has a tendency to slip out of place when I'm in flagrante delicto. So, I went in search of something that would allow me to get my absolute freak on with no chance of leakage, and that my lucky partner would not notice at all. What did I find? Menstrual sponges. Yes. Sponges. I'm no stranger to a sponge. I actually use the Today Sponge contraceptive from time to time with much success. These sponges, however, are sea sponges. They come from a reputable company that does all the cleaning and trimming and whatnot for you. I did a lot of in-depth review stalking before I decided to give these a test run, and thanks to the modern marvel that is Cyber Monday I was able to order them in two different sizes for the price of one. According to the vast amount of reading I subjected myself to I found out that they are successful in blocking the crimson tide, and your partner shouldn't feel a thing. Now, the only drawback I read about is that if your partner is well endowed the sponge may get pushed pretty far back in the ol' tunnel of love...which might lead to me doing some pretty funky yoga moves to fish it out later.

So, the experimental plug has been procured. My period started today. I'm really hoping to hop on someone yummy soon. So, I'll let you guys know if it's a success, or if it's a bloody freakin' disaster.


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