Saturday, December 3, 2016

♫...Dopamine, moment free, drip I.V., drain this memory...♫

I've remembered you on this day every year since I was 14 years old.
Last year I thought it had all been for a reason.
This year, I wish I could forget.
Forget it all. Wipe my memory completely. All the memories are tainted.
I'm not in love with you anymore. I'm not sure at this point that I ever knew you really. I know you never really knew me.
The pain is still there. A dull ache. A still healing scab that I try not to pick at. I've tried all day to ignore it. Tonight I can't help but to make it bleed.
I still care. Maybe that will never stop.
I hope you had a good day, and that you really did find your one shot at happiness.
I can't forgive you for what you said and did to me though. I can move on and care about other people eventually. For now, I can enjoy letting someone else touch me physically...but I'll carry the scars you left me with forever.
I remember you today, but it is too painful a memory to keep holding on to.

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