Jesus H. MotherFUCKING Christ.
I have a dilemma. I need to make a decision, and I need information.
There is one person that I know without a shadow of a doubt could answer my GODDAMN question, and alleviate all my fears with his vast knowledge on this subject.
My goddamn, motherfucking ex-boyfriend.
We're supposed to be friends, right? Right.
That means I should just ask, right? FUCK. NO.
I'd rather stuff myself in a fucking wood chipper than contact him first.
Yes, I'll always talk to him when he contacts me...despite the pleas from my friends, family, pets, therapist, pharmacist, the local exorcist, the guy who delivers my Chinese food (it gets heavy), and probably Satan himself...but I'll be damned to the deepest, hottest pits of hell where they play nothing but elevator music, and you're forced to live out all your most embarrassing moments over and over again for all eternity before I contact him first.
It's incredibly frustrating.