Monday, August 15, 2016

♫...She looks pretty good in blue, she's worn it out a lot...♫

I feel fucking FANTASTIC.
I really, honestly do.

As I was driving around town Saturday afternoon, with my (thankfully) recovering hen in my passenger seat, I made the decision that when I woke up Sunday morning I was going to leave all the bullshit that I've been through in the last handful of months behind me. Everything in my life is looking up: I look and feel great, I have the down payment for a house saved, I like my job, I have amazing friends, my hen is better, I'm happy with myself. Even more miraculous is that I have a sense of self-worth that allows me to see that I don't have to beg anyone to love me. First of all, I'm a fucking fantastic catch. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm attractive, funny as fuck, intelligent, and not only do I have a fabulous rack, but my taste in music is exceptional. Also, I'm nerdy as hell, which is just the sprinkles on this sundae. Second, if someone can't see all the great things about me, that's their loss...not mine. This girl is not the kind of girl who is going to allow anyone to treat her like a consolation prize. Not anymore. I am no one's consolation prize.

Furthermore, I will not allow anyone to guilt me into dating them. If I say 'no', I mean no. I've been taking time to heal, and the people who have not respected that can go fuck themselves. These so-called 'nice guys' who don't respect clearly established boundaries, and then want to act like poor abused little puppies when they finally realize that they are not going to guilt you into giving them what they want when they want it...ARE NOT NICE GUYS. If you disrespect my boundaries, your hurt feelings are not my problem. Go cry in your sippy cup, I have no time for your bullshit.

Developing my self-worth/confidence has made a huge difference in my life. No longer do I feel like this meek, undeserving little mouse who should just shut up and be happy with scraps. I've learned that I can wallow in misery, sit around and wait for someone to appreciate my worth, and let people walk all over me...or I can decide to love myself, live my life, not allow people to continually disrespect my boundaries, and say 'fuck you' to anyone who doesn't see what a goddamn delight I am.

This 5'2 and 3/4", foul-mouthed, whiskey drinking, fucking magical, bombshell is going to have a good time. If you wanna join me, just ask nicely and keep your hands and feet inside the established boundaries.


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