Tuesday, August 9, 2016

♫...It’s been too long since we laughed ourselves to sleep...♫

A few years ago, I wrote a Tuesday Ten detailing the things you should know before you try to date me. Now that some time has gone by, and I've been hurt again, I think it's time for an updated/more serious version.

10 Things You Need To Know Before You Decide To Date Me

1. I will date an Ex: I don't rule it out...as long as they can show me that things will be different. Meaning, whatever we had issues with that led to the break up, we fix that first.

2. All In: I'm not looking for a fling. I'm 36 goddamn years old, I hate dating, and I don't go out with anyone I can't see myself getting emotionally invested in. If you're just looking to get laid, going to use me as a rebound, or not sure about me...just go away. Don't waste my time. I've been someone's rebound way too many fucking times. 

3. Loyalty: If you can't be faithful, fuck off. If you're going to cheat, I'm not the girl for you. I'm likely to do you actual harm at this point in my life. Being cheated on kills my ability to trust, and getting that back is an uphill battle. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, but don't give me any reason to suspect...or I'm gone. Cheating is more than having sex with someone else. It's flirty messages on social media, texts you have to delete for fear of your partner seeing them, lies about what you're doing with another person, being emotionally (in a romantic sense) invested in someone other than your partner. If you have to hide what you're doing with another person from me...you don't need to be with me. I don't want to feel like I have to constantly worry about the person who is supposed to be with me flirting with someone else. Too many times I've been left for someone 'better' after 'my person' starts talking to someone else behind my back.

4. Social Media Meltdown: If you're constantly commenting 'so hot' under photos of other girls, following half naked women, and sending flirty messages to someone who isn't your girlfriend...we aren't going to work. 

5. Hiding: If you feel the need to hide me from anyone (an ex, family, friends) don't even bother. I'm done with that bullshit. I deserve someone who will be proud to be seen with me, will love for everyone to know that I'm his girl. 

6. Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me: I'm very affectionate...and I need that affection returned. I have spent most of my life with a lack of affection/touch, and it makes me wither. I feel unwanted if I have to continuously beg you to touch me in any way, shape, or form. It kills me. You shouldn't be starved for affection in a functional relationship.

7. Lies, Lies, Lies: Don't.Ever.Fucking.Lie.To.Me. I'm worse than the NSA. The chances that I know you're lying as the words come across your lips are about 99.99999%, so do yourself a favor and be honest. Once my trust is lost, it's hard to get back.

8. Emotional, Mental, Psychological, Verbal, Physical:...abuse. I've experienced it all, and I won't tolerate it ever again. Narcissists and sociopaths need not apply.

9. Small Minds: If you're a racist, sexist, homophobic bigot who supports Trump or others like him...I have no room for you in my life. 

10. Investment: I make my own money, I can support myself financially...the kind of investment I want from you is your time. Make me a priority. I don't mean 24/7...but don't make me question if I am important to you. If I like you, you will never doubt it...I show it, and you will never have to question if you are a priority to me. It's not too much to ask that I get the same in return. 


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