Friday, July 22, 2016

♫...she's a devil with an angel's face I've been told...♫

  “Marla's philosophy of life, she told me, is that she can die at any moment. The tragedy of her life is that she doesn't.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
At some point this week I morphed into Marla Singer.
Self-destructive, dark, indifferent, and possibly another figment of your imagination.
My smart ass mouth is out of control as well.
For the first time in my life, I feel like being completely selfish...and I want what I want, fuck the consequences.
I feel very emotionally detached from just about everything.
My emotions are void. They have left the building. I give less than zero fucks.
All I want to do is indulge my vices...of which I have plenty. Every single one is calling my name, tempting me closer.

My entire life I've always held back, maintained some sense of 'doing what's best for everyone'/being 'good'/putting what I want last...I've spent my life taking care of everyone else, and making sure I don't do anything to upset anyone. Always ensuring that I'm non-abrasive even if it means being taken advantage of. Always being polite, even when my boundaries are not respected. Bowing and scraping to everyone else's wants and needs and advice. Fuck it. I'm done. I can't be Miss. Congeniality for awhile...maybe ever again.


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