Wednesday, July 20, 2016

♫...If you don't ask, I won't upset you...♫

I believe in honesty. 
Most people say that they want you to be honest, but what they really want is a prettily packaged lie that makes them feel better...or doesn't make them feel awkward.
Fuck that.
I don't operate that way. Not anymore.
I'm not going to smile prettily and say that I'm fine, when I'm clearly not.
If you ask me a question, you're going to get the 100% honest, non-sugarcoated truth.
If you ask.
If you don't ask, I probably won't say anything. You have to ask the questions to get the answers you want, or I won't tell you anything at all. A large part of that is because people can not handle a truth that isn't all sunshine and unicorn farts. Anything that is dark or sad or too 'real'  tends to make them exceedingly uncomfortable. I've encountered a lot of people who think that everyone should always look on the bright side, and only think positive-happy-everything-is-rainbows-and-roses thoughts. That isn't reality. Not for most people. 
The fake shiny veneer that people insist on coating everything with grates on my nerves. I prefer real, raw honesty. Not everyone is happy all the time. That whole idea is why there is such a stigma still attached to mental illness. 
I prefer a conversation where two people can be completely honest with each other about who they are, and how they feel...and be comfortable with it. That is so goddamn rare that I tend to shut just about everyone out. I can't help but to when they ask me a question, I answer honesty, and they get this 'deer in headlights' look about them...or go silent.
You're better off not asking me anything unless you want an honest to god, blunt as hell answer. If the answer hurts too much you'll get the short version...unless you press...but it will still be blunt as a butter knife. 
To me, there's nothing more refreshing than sitting down with someone and being completely balls out honest with each other. It's just sad that I can count on one hand the number of people that I can actually do this with. 

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