I would keep up with him by going to see the various bands that he played in, and through mutual friends. Somehow I even remembered him on his birthday every year. Most of my best stories from my teens and 20s have a connection to him...due to religiously attending shows where he was playing. He was also the catalyst for my attraction to musicians (especially drummers).
Sunday night, as I lay in his arms, watching him sleep, I marveled at the fact that I never in a million years thought I would be there …with him. As I stroked the white hairs growing in among the red in his beard, I thought of everything we’ve both been through (separately) in the last 21 years. How all of it has changed us from the children we were, into the adults we are now. How we both have massive baggage, but that in many ways our baggage helps us understand each other better. I am a different person than I was even 6 months ago because of him: I am more patient, more understanding, I see myself doing things I never thought I would be open to, and I have finally learned to trust someone completely. It’s not all sunshine and roses all the time, nothing ever is. I, for instance, never realized how jealous I could get over nothing. Something I’ve had to work on. To me though, the best relationships are the ones that help you grow as a person…and I am growing. Every single day.
There isn’t a doubt in my mind that I would go through every single hurt, heartbreak, betrayal, and bad experience that I’ve been through in the last 21 years all over again…if I knew he was at the end of it. It took me going through every single bit of that to get to the point in my life where I am the woman I need to be for this to work.
I may have had a crush on the boy that he was…but I love every bit of the man he has become.