I will instead make goals.
1. Make out with my handsome boyfriend more: Seriously just like rub up against him like a cat in heat...anytime, all the time, everywhere.
2. Imitate a sloth: once a week just lay in bed, Netflix and chill with a large cheese pizza. Wallow in the selfish 'me' time while it's still an option.
3. Stop the transformation back into Jabba: it took me 4 goddamn years to lose 120lbs. Gaining 30lbs in the last 7 months while in a happy-flowery-lust-fogged-love-bubble is to be expected...but it's now time to get off my ass and back to work.
4. PET ALL THE ANIMALS:...that's pretty self explanatory.
5. Put my insanity on display: or in layman's terms, write more. Delve into that dark, twisty, deranged psyche of mine and pull out the amusing, erotic, fairy flocking stories that litter my brain...causing me to stare off into space...and run stop signs.
6. Continue to give zero fucks:...about what small minds think of me.
That's it...fuck off...have a fun New Year's Eve...& make the world a better and more interesting place in 2016.