with this twisted, toxic mess.
This rotten wreckage of what could have been a glorious banquet.
It has left a bad taste in my mouth
from almost the very first bite.
Yet, I kept coming back for more,
convinced I was starving,
and that I should be thankful
for whatever crumbs were thrown to me.
When the first taste was offered,
I thought you would be good for me,
nourishment for my weary soul.
The more I let you in
the more it became obvious
that you were, instead, a poison to my spirit.
You've been coursing through me too long,
making me high under your attention,
and so goddamn low when I cease to exist to you.
I'm like a junkie begging for another fix,
and I am so disgusted with myself.
Today I remember who I am,
I will pick myself up off the floor of this cage,
no more living on the scraps tossed my way.
You do not treat a goddess
like an inconsequential thing
unless you want to be roasted,
and devoured whole.