Monday, September 8, 2014

♫...I built this life and now it's mine...♫

Are you ready for me to slap you in the face with some emotional growth on a Monday morning?
Well, hold on to your princess parts because here it is.

When you find yourself in a situation over and over again...followed by negative results...you come to expect that every time you're in that type of situation the same thing is going to happen. You come to a point when you start to brace yourself for the inevitable.

For example, let's say that every time you offer someone a peach you're punched in the stomach. Different people, same result. After a while you come to expect the same reaction from everyone you offer a peach to. I could go into a spiel about Classical Conditioning and Conditioned Emotional Response, but it will make me feel too much like Pavlov's dog.

Take that example and apply it to my life. I offer someone a peach, and at a certain point I begin to brace myself for the seemingly inevitable punch in the gut. The negative thought patterns begin, telling me I'm not good enough. Jawbreaker's Dear You album starts constant rotation on Spotify. I start eating all the carbs. 

This negative, self-defeating attitude can, on it's own, bring about the outcome I'm fearing. It's not fair to myself, and it's not fair to the other person. I refuse to let the pain from my past steal one moment from my present anymore. If I get punched in the gut again, I'll deal with it, but I won't huddle in the corner waiting for, or creating, the pain anymore.

Look at me being all grown up and growing emotionally.

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