Sunday, February 9, 2014

♫...She's a little lost girl in her own little world...♫

I don't know about you, but I get frustrated when life is the same exact thing day after day. I'm not content with the status quo. I'm not okay with living a life of mediocrity. If you're not content with where you are, and strive for something better...don't ever let the small minds tell you that you should just be thankful for what you've got. thankful for everything...but don't stop striving for something better...don't let them make you think you don't deserve something better.

In an effort to shake up my life, I've started challenging myself. The usual things: continue to get out more, write more, paint more, look for better opportunities, remove negative influences from my life. I'm also trying to challenge myself with bigger things too. Things that normally scare me and/or send my anxiety soaring. 

I hate going out alone. By 'going out' I mean going to events (concerts, parties, cool little things around town that I get invited to) by myself. I hate it. My anxiety has kept me from attending a lot of cool things around town...all because I didn't have anyone to go with me. No more. As soon as I found out that Welcome to Night Vale was doing a live show here in my town, I knew that I had to conquer this. I am crazy obsessed with this podcast, and nothing is going to keep me from going! As a bonus, it's located in this cute little Cabaret theater downtown that (as a diehard theater geek) I have been DYING to go to. I'm still kinda nervous about going alone, but I will prevail! The glow cloud demands it!

My plan is to:
1. Continue challenging myself to do things that scare me until they don't scare me anymore. 
2. Do more of the things I love...let my creative side flourish. I've been so consumed with how tired I am from work (and all the needless drama at work) that I haven't felt much like pursuing my creative outlets. This is killing me. I am a creative, daydreaming, idealist. My lifeblood is fantasy and constant creativity. I have been sacrificing the very core of who I am in order to earn a living. I can't quit my job, so I am going to have to find a way to live around it...& hopefully find something more suited to me soon.
3. Continue to keep negative influences out of my life. 

This is my life. I plan to live it to the fullest, with all the bruises and bumps and 'what the hell was I thinking' moments that come with it...not just safely survive it.


Chani Duke said...

I love that you are doing this if I was there and not sick and having to do all what I gotta do I would totally go with you ya know I am down when I come up wanna plan a weekend just to see friends.

Ruby Strawberry said...

One day you and I will do crazy stuff together again! Love you bunches :)

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