It's 9pm on a Monday night.
The Alabama air is thick and oppressive.
A waxing crescent moon hangs in the sky, tinted slightly with a rusty color.
Soft grass caresses the bottoms of my bare feet as I wander through the backyard. It's too long, and should have been cut days ago, but I love the feel of it.
I'm alone...away from the stresses of my job...away from the family that doesn't understand or like me.
For a moment it feels as if I've escaped into my own nighttime wonderland, with Aslan, Leonard and Sheldon wandering around me.
The humidity makes even the thin white shirt, and florescent orange boy briefs I'm wearing feel like a wool coat.
I long to peel them from my body, and roll around in the grass with someone.
Or maybe just pile in the hammock with them, and let the night sounds lull us to sleep as we swing, wrapped around each other like hibernating snakes...despite the warmth of the evening.
My thoughts immediately respond with:
It's so much easier to fall in love with people you know you're never going to meet.
The morning will come way too early, and I will have another day of hell to face.
I can smell the honeysuckle.
I breathe deep.
The scent used to make me happy....now it just makes me want to cry.