Wednesday, May 9, 2012

♫...Something like a phenomena, baby...♫




   I've had every hair color you can possibly imagine. From the various shades of blonde, brown, and red to the whole crayola box full of colors (some combined). Now take that information and combine it with the fact that I observe the world through a mind that has spent the last ten years engrossed in the study of Sociology and Neuropsychology. Thanks to these two facts, I can say without a moments hesitation that people treat me differently depending on what color hair I have. And by 'people' I mean straight males (mostly).

   For this post, I am only going to talk about the main natural shades: brown, red, and blonde.  The unnatural shades create a whole different array of reactions from a great number of segments of the population.

   I love brunettes. The individuals who make my panties fly across the room seem to be, by and large, made up of brunettes (possibly because natural gingers are so rare: Benedict ♥ who looks lovely as a brunette as well).  Whenever I sport any shade of brown, from dark to light, people (mostly) treat me as if I actually know what I'm talking about, even if I don't have a clue. Males in positions over me (at work, dirty minds) usually speak to me, and interact with me as if I am an intelligent, knowledgeable being.  However, straight men rarely give me a second look.  They appreciate the mind and the personality, but not the exterior. There is, of course, an exception. Those individuals who seem to have a librarian fetish go absolutely ga-ga over me with long brown hair, and my thick black rimmed glasses. This assessment is for ME as a brunette only, not brunettes as a whole. 'Cuz brunettes are fucking sexy. I just don't seem to 'wow' as one.

   Red is my favorite hair color.  My dad is a redhead, Benedict is a natural ginger, my 'baby' brother has ginger stubble, and I started dying my hair red when I was a freshman in high school. I stayed red throughout high school, and most of my classmates and teachers believed me to be a natural redhead, as it went splendidly with my pale, freckled skin and green eyes. However, after spending my late teens and early 20s bleaching the hell out of my hair, and dying it every shade Manic Panic had to offer, my hair simply will not hold on to red the way it once did.  It's also a pain in the ass to keep it vibrant, rich and not brassy, washed out, and dull.  Now, from a wide range of pleasant and horrifying first hand experiences, I can tell you that there are redhead fetishists out there.  There are also those who truly believe all the stereotypical descriptions of redheads as having traits such as a fiery temper and being oversexed. It just so happens that I have those traits naturally...but not the red hair. Men usually seem to be intrigued (thinking I'm mysterious) or scared of me when I'm a redhead. Mostly scared.

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   Now we come to blonde. I'm going to make a confession now. I was born a blonde.  In fact, I had extremely light blonde hair until it darkened around age 7 or 8. I hid this fact and refused to even entertain the thought of going back to it when I was in my hardcore punk rock days. I got over it and discovered a phenomena that takes place when I'm a blonde. Something that I like to call 'The Busty Blonde Effect'.  One one hand, there is a huge segment of the population that will fall all over themselves to hold a door open for me, or buy me a drink.  On the other hand, there is an equally large segment of the population that will treat me as if I don't have the brains a cockroach is blessed with. I can know exactly what I'm talking about, be dropping a mega dose of wisdom on them, and they will simply smile as if I am an entertaining five-year-old,  and they are indulging my nonsense.  This is when my inner redhead comes out, and I have to suppress an Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom "Kali Ma" moment....but I digress. I do tend to get 'hit on' a lot more when I'm blonde. Even when bare faced, greasy hair in a pony tail, walking through Walmart in yoga pants and an oversized t shirt. I have a female 'friend' who reviles me every time I dye my hair blonde, saying I'm conforming to what society expects me to be. No, hon, I'm going back to my natural hair color, and a color that happens to flatter me...but bless your heart. The truth is, I don't know if I get this reaction because of the blonde, or because the blonde makes me feel more confident. All I know is that it makes me feel like walking around naked in a pair of red pumps.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm a natural brunette. Hai. Puuurrrr. ;)

Do you also find it true that if you are open about your vibrant sexuality, some men will treat you like you're an idiot? No matter what your hair color is? The bigger the bewbs, the more you like sex, the tinier your brain must be? I despise these men, to be honest. I love to think of ways of bringing them down....with the power of my vagina. Is that horrible? I dunno, I'm rambling.

Whiskey Sour said...

OH MY GOD YES!!! I just want to punch them in the face...but YES. I like sex, I have huge knockers, and I'm comfortable with my sexuality...so I just naturally be an utter idiot. WTF??

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