Friday, March 16, 2012

♫...the Worst Day Since Yesterday...♫

Well, here it is, Ladies and Jellybeans, Cats and Kittens, Dudes and Lady Dudes. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. My favorite day of the year. My Christmas....and you know what, I'M GOING TO SPEND IT SOBER!

This is the worst thing in the history of existence. A sign of the coming Apocalypse. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you, and kiss your puppies and kitties goodbye, because there is absolutely no justice or kindness in a world that would force me to spend St. Patrick's Day sober.

I will probably spend the day sucking the alcohol out of various household goods, and being kicked in the face by the early arrival of allergy season...Instead of my usual ritual of kicking off breakfast at my favorite Irish Pub with Guinness and whatever they're serving dyed green...repeat until Lunch when we switch to Guinness and a sandwich...and repeat that until dinner when we switch to Irish Car Bombs and french fries...and then straight up Jameson until I pass out in someone's bathtub dressed up as Alice in Wonderland or wrapped up in a flag or plastic 'St. Patrick's Day Festivities' bar sign.

Being poor sucks the fun right out of things.

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2 comments:

Joy Marie said...

I feel ya. It's also one of my FAVORITE holidays, and I refuse to sit around the Prohibition House here with family tomorrow while the whole country gets their drink on while yelling 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish'!! I guess it's kind of wrong, but I turned down a marvelous traditional dinner of corned beef & cabbage with friends I haven't seen since last July, just so I could go to another friend's house.....that has alcohol! I feel bad about this, I really do. But I told myself that if I go anywhere at all tomorrow, I want to be able to chase my Midol with cold Guinness. So that means NOT going from one Prohibition House right into another.

I've still yet to eat anything dyed green. I've yet to sit around at an Irish pub and have Guinness on tap, but sitting in my friend's basement drinking my brew from the bottle with their screaming children playing around me will just have to do! I will definitely have a few for you too. ;)

Whiskey Sour said...

I've been invited out by a good friend...and I want to go...BUT I FEEL SO DAMN AWFUL thanks to the early dusting of yellow that is on everything!!!

Don't feel bad! Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do...and a not spending St. Patrick's day 'dry' is definitely one of those times!

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