Saturday, February 18, 2012

♫...Three is a charm, two is not the same...♫

  I got into a bit of a 'tiff' with someone on Twitter this week. I know, so unlike me. The thing is, it really pisses me off when someone claims that there is only one way to have a successful relationship. That is the furthest thing from the truth. It pisses me off even more when this person claims to be a professional...and then goes on to brag about being extremely rude to a client. This is the kind of person that gives people in our line of work a very bad name. She stated matter-of-factly that open relationships never work. Wrong. So wrong. When I deleted her and stated that people who claim that there is only one way to have a relationship need to grow up...she told me that I needed to educate myself. That's laughable since I have far more education and experience on the subject than she obviously does. 

  I'm going to do a bit of stereotyping here for a moment, but you'll have to forgive me since it's accurate. The kinds of people who say things like that are usually privileged, straight, and cisgendered...and don't take anyone else's sexuality, upbringing, gender identity, etc into consideration when they make these outrageous claims. They see the world through one window: straight, monogamous relationships. That's great for those people who prefer that...but guess what? Monogamy isn't for everyone...and there are all kinds of juicy flavors of sexuality out there.

   There is an extremely well-written and amazing book written by Vicki Vantoch called The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping With Three. It's not just a how-to guide on threesomes, it's a very informative book on the possibilities and benefits of triad relationships (3 people romantically involved...not just sex).  I can tell you for a fact, that she and her husband were high school sweethearts and are still married. They have the cutest little baby boy as well.

Monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, asexuality...who gives a fuck as long as it works for you?!

My point? What works is being in a relationship that is right for you. A relationship where you are allowed to be yourself and to based on respect, honesty, and a desire to allow each person to be be wholly who they that is also sexually gratifying for you both.

 One of the most important things I learned from my years of education and experience is that you have to approach the people you're helping from their viewpoint...not by applying your personal views/beliefs to their life.


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