Friday, January 20, 2012

♫...shut up and drive...♫


Day 20: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?

10 million.  
If there is ever a time when I'm driving and I'm not swearing at other drivers...something is seriously wrong. 
People piss me off...but never as much as when I'm driving. There have been times, too numerous to count, when I have been driving to school or work, minding my own business, and some moron comes along and almost kills me. I've been run off the road by truckers, mothers in mini vans who are turned around yelling at/smacking their kids, and people applying makeup in the rear-view mirror. Stop it, just freakin' stop it, damnit. 

Doing any of the following will cause me to let out a long, loud, creative string of obscenities that would make the proverbial sailor blush:
  • Running me off the road: So far, everyone who has done this has either been a trucker or had an Alabama or 'W' sticker on their car....I always said I was going to write my thesis on what that could mean.
  • Not using your blinker....USE YOUR GODDAMN BLINKER, BEFORE YOU FORCE YOUR WAY IN FRONT OF ME! I WILL FUCKING HIT YOU NEXT TIME.
  • Old people who drive 5 mph on the 50 mph long ass two lane road that I used to have to drive down to get to work (I live in the damn boonies), and there is only one little place where you are able pass safely. I know you learned how to drive with a horse and buggy, but goddamn it GO FASTER.
  • Doing dumbass things that take your concentration off the road and those around you. Example: Applying makeup, reading a goddamn book (you would be surprised), turning around to mess with your children (unless they are in a life threatening situation...then I'll make concessions).
  • Driving slow in the passing lane. ARE YOU AN IDIOT? 
  • People who stomp on their breaks every 5 minutes...WHEN THERE'S NO ONE IN FRONT OF THEM FOR MILES!
  • I'm sure there's more...

3 comments:

Wendy, R.N. said...

HAHAHA! Me, too!

My phone pocket dialed my husband for him to hear me screaming, "Get the fuck out of the way, you stupid cow!"

W. :)

Ruby 'VooDoo' LeBeau said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SERIOUSLY, it's therapeutic...just think of what would happen if we weren't allowed to rage at stupid drivers? It would be a bloodbath!

Amanda said...

My Road Rage Is Strong.

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