Sunday, January 1, 2012

♫...normally I'd be knee-deep in champagne...♫

Day 1: How did you ring in the new year?

   Honestly, my dear little minions, this New Year's Eve was the tamest (re: lamest) New Year's Eve that I've experienced since entering this strange era called 'adulthood'. Here's why, but don't worry, it has a happy ending...sort of:

   Once Upon a a land called Kimberly, made of fire and brimstone, your badass Overlord walked out to her 1998 Chevy Lumina, on her much anticipated graduation day, and found the blue bane of her existence (it's given me nothing but trouble since the engine died 2 years ago and I had to have it replaced) was dead. It would not start, not even the expletive heavy dressing down she gave it would convince the damn thing to start. 

   Fast Forward 7 months and the thing is still sitting in the driveway, refusing to budge. Now, in this humid, festering hell of a land, public transportation is a foreign concept, and living so far away from even an inkling of civilization makes it hard to find gainful employment without some kind of vehicle. Therefore, your dear Overlord found herself broke, jobless, and without a means of transportation on New Year's Eve....and found herself spending the evening with her extended family. *cue scream*

   There was an abundance of artery clogging fare to be had, and she did her best to enjoy it moderately, however, as the night progressed and she faced the crude conversations engaged in by her extended family, she found herself burying her misery in the wide assortment of pies. As the conversation wandered from the dog licking it's butt, to her grandfather yelling at everyone about stupid things, to their gas...your Overlord found her lifeforce beginning to wane...she was having to endure all of this completely sober, you her family are teetotalers. Luckily, just as she was about to choke herself to death with her own scarf, the most miraculous thing happened! Her parents decided that it was time to depart, as they were afraid to leave the dear Leonard and Sheldon alone any longer with the earth shattering booms echoing around their house. So at the blessed chime of 10 o'clock, they prepared to leave and set out on their journey back to a less crude and crass environment. 

   Leonard and Sheldon were joyous at the return of your Overlord, her parents and siblings, and they did rejoice mightily. Soon the parents retired for the evening, and the siblings wandered off to their rooms, and your Overlord was free to ring in the new year by indulging in the activity she most enjoys above (almost) everything else: Watching Doctor Who. She had been saving the Christmas Special for this moment, and she sat watching it, laughing and crying as Doctor Who always engages her emotions. When the clock struck 12, she welcomed 2012 while happily in the embrace of the man of her dreams....the 11th Doctor. The End.


Amanda said...

I fell asleep watching Big Bang Theory with my daughter before midnight and after 5 Coronas and with the new puppy in which we decided to add to our little dysfunctional family. We named her Haley (as in Haley Center at Auburn, of course), but as we were watching TBBT, Morgan says "we should have named her Penny." I laughed thinking of your Leonard and Sheldon and passed the fuck out right then and there. Happy New Year!

Ruby LeBeau said...

AWWWW! That would have been so cute! I like Haley though! We keep saying we need a Raj and Howard or Penny, Bernadette and Amy (though my brother hates Bernadette and Amy).

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