Tuesday, October 4, 2011

♫...Hey! My girlfriend is an alcoholic...♫


I am happily single. There are a plethora of reasons why I am happy to not be in a relationship of any kind. Many of my married (and some of my single) friends, however, seem to have a blockage in their brain that does not allow them to believe this. They keep trying to set me up...and I really hate being set up. If you really want to piss me off, do what one friend of mine did and invite me out...and then invite the person you want to set me up with along as well...and don't tell me...just let me find out when they show up... thinking it's a date. That will cause me to never trust you again...ever. EVER.

The one question they all ask me is, "What's your type?"
I have no intention of telling them because I refuse to aid in an act that I want no part in...but when I try to think of what my 'type' is, I blank...because I don't really have a type. There are things that I'm attracted to, things that turn me WAY off, and things that I'd like to have in a partner (but aren't necessarily needs). So, here's my...

Ten Things That Would Be Nice To Have In A Future Partner.
(this is not the 'serious' list)
(...it's more like, stuff that would be really, really cooool!)

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1. Be a fan of both Doctor Who and Supernatural. If you're in a 'relationship' with me, this will probably happen eventually whether you want it to or not...Just by being around me you will come to see how truly brilliant both shows are and you will have no other choice but to become a raging, hardcore fan of both....


2. Be willing to build a fort out of blankets with me in a living room...where we will eat and have Doctor Who/Supernatural/Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter marathons.


3. Be prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse...because you know it's going to happen. In fact, it will probably happen the moment that someone opens the old, broken freezer that is sitting in my parents basement...because there's been a whole carrot cake sitting tin it for over five years...so it's either going to start the zombie apocalypse or start a whole new breed of predator like animal (or be like that episode of Cowboy Bebop where they left that thing in the fridge for too long). That being said...I have a 1 in 5 chance of being patient zero in the oncoming zombie apocalypse and I hope you have the balls to shoot me in the head once I turn.

4. Just accept the fact that I cannot sleep unless the room is cold, pitch black and has a small fan going that drowns out noise....

5. Accept the fact that I am in love with The Doctor and Dean Winchester and River Song.

6. You should really dress up like the 11th Doctor...I really like the suspenders/braces...any of 10s outfits would be nice as well...

7. Don't be one of those lame people who refuse to dress up on Halloween...or just wear some stupid t-shirt that says 'This IS my costume'...Go all out or go home and cry in your sippy cup.

8. Be a geeky, Science Fiction & Fantasy loving nerd. If you wear thick, black glasses...even better. Cons? Cosplay? World of Warcraft? Yes, please.

9. Never, ever, EVER put my good t-shirts in the dryer...always wash them turned inside out...and hang them over things inside the house to dry...I treat my good (mostly Doctor Who and Supernatural) t-shirts with extreme care.

10. The Captain is always Picard, Reynolds or Harkness....or Morgan...depending on the question.

I may do a more 'serious' list next week.


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