Tuesday, September 20, 2011

♫...And now she's pissed off...♫

Pet Peeve: noun. A particular, personal vexation. 

Ladies and Jellyfish, I present to you :

My Top Ten Pet Peeves.

1. Smacking, slurping, or any other way that you make needless noise while eating. Brother #1 does this...a lot...and for some reason, his seat at the dinner table is right beside mine...which I really think is an all around bad idea. I've learned to hide my vexation at this, because my parents got on to me every time I asked him to stop while we were growing up. Hello! Rude! It's not my fault they didn't teach him table manners. Chew with your mouth closed and don't slurp your soup!

2. My mother's driving. I'm not going to go into excruciating detail about why because mum reads this every now and then...let's just say, it gets worse when she tries to talk on her cell phone and drive at the same time.

3. When people don't use their blinker. "Oh, hi there SUV that's 10 times the size of my little car, you're gonna switch into my lane now? Gonna knock the front half of my car off with your big ass bumper while you're at it? Okay, that's fine. Have a nice day! No, there's no need to give me a warning." Use.Your.Blinker. One day I'm going to snap and start ramming people.

4. I found this on Tumblr, and it conveys my frustration:

Grammar lesson:

They’re = They fucking are.

Their = Shows fucking possession.

There = Specifies a fucking location.

You’re = You fucking are.

Your = Shows fucking possession.

We’re = We fucking are.

Were = Past fucking tense of “are”.

Where = Specifies a fucking location.

Than = A fucking comparison.

Then = A point in fucking time.


5. When people write Dr. Who instead of Doctor Who. He is The Doctor...not Dr. Whatthefuckever. 

6. When people assume that because I'm single and childless I'm a miserable wreck who wants to be married and have kids. I like being single. I like having my options open. If I get the opportunity to travel or move or meet someone splendid, I don't have to worry/turn it down because of my kids or partner. Single does not equal unhappy.

7. When someone wakes me up for a stupid/no reason. I like my sleep. If you interrupt my sleep I will not like you...and I might kill you. There is a reason my family members are terrified to wake me up....and it's because I've given them good reason to! This is also why I will probably not reproduce. My cat refuses to sleep if I'm asleep and insists on yowling at ear splitting decibels...and this is why we don't get along.

8. When someone says that I said something that I know I didn't say. Do.Not.Do.This...unless you want to experience pain.

9. The following aren't really pet peeves...they are major psychotic freakin' hatreds, so I'm lumping them together:
  • Gaslighting.
  • Slut-shaming
  • Making jokes about domestic violence, animal abuse, sexual assault.
  • Being homophobic, sexist, racist, transphopic, biphobic...basically being a judgmental bigot of any kind.
  • Policing my language. I'm an adult, I'll curse all I want.
  • Being self-righteous.

10. This is a big one for me. People who talk and/or use their cell phones in the movie theater or theater! There is a special deep, dark, horrifying place, in of whatever afterlife you believe in, for people who talk or use their cell phones for any reason (other than a real emergency) during a movie or performance! If you do this consistently, I will kick you in the back of the head, shush you, take your cell phone and shove it down your throat. This is not an exaggeration.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...