Friday, December 31, 2010

♫...New Year's Eve, we dropped mushrooms and danced around the house...♫

It's New Year's Eve.
Big f'ing deal.

I'm sitting in my room with Aslan, who is severely pissed off at me for giving him a bath this morning and who is now sitting at the end of my bed glaring at me as he plots my slow, agonizing death. I'm basically hiding in here with the furious feline because I've had just about all of the kumbaya-positive thinking-hippie-The Secret-self help bullshit I can take. If I want to be a surly, the glass is half empty, bitch who curses like she's in a Quentin Tarantino film, then by god it's my prerogative isn't it?

I don't do the whole New Year's Resolutions crap...but I do resolve that the next time someone takes it upon themselves to point out my faults and/or criticize my 'so-called' shortcomings (while acting as if they have none of their own), my response will look something like this:

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As I said, I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Mainly because after a week or so of eating nothing but rice cakes and slimfast and walking on the treadmill for an hour or two everyday...just so that I can lose a few pounds and conform to a fascist beauty standard because some jerk who isn't worth my time called me fat...well, that just makes me want to go on a Godzilla like rampage. Also, they usually entail giving up your vices, and I like my vices just fine, thank you very much. So, in lieu of 'resolutions', I give you 'plans'. Things I will be doing in 2011:

  1. Graduating from college in May. Goodbye forever UAB, I will not miss you.
  2. Moving away...for good.  I want to make it to California before the end of 2011.
  3. Rid myself of fake, disloyal, toxic 'friends'.
  4. Misha Collins (if only in my dreams).
So, in conclusion...Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve/New Year's Day...be responsible...embrace your vices...be who you really are, even if that's a surly, foul-mouthed heathen like me...and as you're getting wasted tonight, remember to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate...

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5 comments:

Amanda said...

Shit. I should have read this *before* partying it up like some idiotic 20 year old that I am not. Cause then I would have remembered to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate and I would not be suffering the headache from ohmymotherfuckinggod,mybraintisattackingmyskull. :-D

I love love love this post. It is my favorite. Besides that other one that I said was my favorite. Because it's still my favorite too. Happy New Year, Ruby, darling! You will accomplish everything you set out to do. even maybe Misha!

Ruby LeBeau said...

Always hydrate! Gurl! And take an aspirin...and then if you're hungover...and you have a craving, eat whatever you're craving because it probably has in it what you're body needs to re cooperate...that's advice from my Neurobiology Professor!

Happy New Year, Luv! I can't tell you how happy I am that you're in my life once again! You are awesome and you keep me going with all you're awesome encouragement! =D

Amanda said...

"..just so that I can lose a few pounds and conform to a fascist beauty standard." I'm just gonna go ahead and say that wins the internet forever. Best thing said of 2010. I'd say it's the best thing said of 2011, but you actually said it in 2010. :/ But it did inspire me to go around saying things like "I'm so not conforming to the fascist standard of beauty!" I'll have to chant that every time I'm out there running. :)

And you made me tear up. I'm sooo glad we're friends again. If I'm awesome, it's cause you're awesome and we're just awesome together! You better stop in Phoenix on your way to Cali!

Ruby LeBeau said...

Hellz yeah! We are women, hear us roar! I'm so glad you liked that...normally I just get a "We ain't gonna tolerate your feminazi propaganda here, little lady!" =D

The combined power of our awesomeness could bring the world to its knees! muahahahahahah!
Heck YES I will stop in Phoenix! There's no power in the 'verse that can stop me either! =D

Ruby LeBeau said...

On a completely unrelated note...I have over 300 gifs that I need to upload to Photobucket.....

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