Saturday, July 24, 2010

An open letter to my University's Administration Services.

Dear Constant Pain in my Ass,

I'm sending you a bill for all the adverse effects that having to constantly deal with the havoc you wreak on my life/health/mental stability has caused. It seems as if every few months for the past few years I have received emails or letters or noticed huge glaringly obvious errors on my student records/accounts. If I receive ANYTHING from Student Accounting, Student Parking, or the Registrar's Office I immediately know that my blood pressure is going to go through the roof and I am going to either throw up or eat absolutely EVERYTHING in the house. I have come to the conclusion that those three departments are actually run by PCP addicted squirrels who have escaped from the facilities where my university cruelly tests on animals. That's the only explanation that I can come to other than saying that they are run by lazy, incompetent, psycho-bitches from hell!!

So what happened this time?
I received a letter saying that it was time to purchase my parking tag for the Fall 2010/Spring 2011 school year, and that the cost would be applied to my student account for the fall. So, being the good student I decided to do just that (even though the school sells more parking tags than they have parking spaces).
What happened?
You applied my fee for fall 2010/spring 2011 parking tag to Summer 2010 charges...even though I 'm not registered for summer.
You sent me an email that stated the $100 had to be paid before 5pm July 23rd or my registration for Fall 2010 would be cancelled.
When was this email delivered to my Inbox? 10:08PM July 23rd.
See the problem here?
While, I DO in fact watch a LOT of Doctor Who, I myself am not capable to time travel.

This is my last year of college...I've worked long and hard to get here...I've had to go part-time, sometimes taking classes that I didn't need just so I could stay in school while working my classes around a full-time job. I have my fall classes laid out perfectly to transition to the two classes I need this Spring and the last class I need to take this Summer...and you are screwing with that.

Plus, I don't have $100. I have $3.
I'm having to get a loan from my dad, which I HATE doing...it makes me feel horrible!!!

Not that I expect you soulless legions of hell to understand that...or care.

Here's hoping that you find your way back to the medical lab you escaped from and they are able to remove the PING PONG BALL they replaced your BRAIN with!

Can't wait to graduate and never have to deal with you again,
Ruby.

P.S. Please be expecting a bill to cover the costs of the eating disorder you are giving me.

P.P.S. I love my advisor. She's super awesome...and my professors are peachy keen too...

UPDATE (25 July 2010: 4:40pm): Received an email from them this morning stating that the email I received was 'sent in error'...I worked in Financial Aid for over a year and in Collections for six and a half years...I know what 'sent in error' means...it means we f'd up and just want you to shut up and go away.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Auburn did that whole selling-more-tags-than-spaces thing. It was special when people came into town a week before the Iron Bowl and tail-gated in our parking lots. Leaving the students no parking. But I <3 football and those crazy fuckers always gave away their food and beer, so I'm not really complaining that much. :-D

My sister-in-law to be works in the registrars (i think) office. She's not on PCP. Or is a squirrel. She's totally wicked. Want me to ask her if she can help you?

Ruby LeBeau said...

YES! I can almost guarantee I've never seen her. The ladies I have to deal with are like 50 years old. I sent an email to Accounting and cc'd my advisor and the registrar's office in it...so if I can't get a response I may have you help me get in touch with her...it's really more of an accounting fuck up...but they are saying they were going to withdraw me from classes which would, I THINK have to go through the registrar's office. IT'S CRAZY...also, I would like to know why they think I can time travel, because if I have that ability I would like to know!!

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