Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

You know what's NOT funny when you slip and fall out of the shower?

Jokes about slipping and falling out of the shower.


The story is as follows:

Yesterday afternoon I was extremely tired. For the three days prior I had been woken up at least every couple of hours by various annoyances (read: my family) and I really wanted to relax with a nice hot shower. I turned the shower on, disrobed, and stepped into the tub. That's when the trouble began. It was 100 times more slippery than it normally is. Mere milliseconds before tragedy struck 'What the f*** has someone put in the tub?' ran through my mind...but before I could even finish that thought, my feet slipped out from under me. Flailing like a drunk penguin, I tried to regain my balance but was woefully unsuccessful. I fell sideways, out of the tub, taking the shower curtain and rod with me as I tumbled to the cold, tile floor. As I fell I managed to hit the side of my head on this stupid little table my mother keeps beside the shower with all of her bath products on it (all of which crashed to the floor with me), and then I hit the back of my head on the toilet. As I sat there, naked, wrapped in the shower curtain, and covered in bath products...I'm not to proud to say...I cried. It hurt. I managed to twist my leg all funky when I fell, and I hurt my already sore back and bum. I also had a pumice stone jabbing into my butt cheek...not to mention the SEVERE headache from bashing my skull in twice...

I found out later that SOMEONE *cough, MOM, cough* had put some kind of cleaning chemical all over the tub and left it there. The only conclusion I can come to is that she is trying to kill me.

I'm still sore all over. ALL OVER.


Amanda said...

The clip up top made me laugh incredibly hard. I want you to know it was the clip and not your shower incident that made me laugh.

Sorry that happened to you. It happened to my husband back in the day when we were dating. I still have the email somewhere in which he describes it. It was funny. Not yours. His. :) Carry on. And tell your mom I said baking soda paste and a sponge does wonders on soap scum.....and nobody dies.

Ruby LeBeau said...

I love that clip too.

It's okay to laugh at me, I have a great sense of humor...what I don't have a sense of humor about is frienemies who want to make jokes laced with malice...that's what I had a problem with.

I'm still convinced that she's trying to kill me...she has no remorse!!

Ruby LeBeau said...

OH! And I found out she wasn't using something to clean the tub...she had put olive oil in her bath because Doctor OZ told her to...and then she didn't wipe out the tub!

Amanda said...

Dr. OZ? As in that t.v. doctor? bwahahahaha that's cute.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...