Saturday, December 26, 2009

Neither An End Nor A Beginning

Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts. And especially will not fantasise about a particular person who embodies all these things... ~ Bridget Jones's Diary (film)

Now that Christmas is over we turn our attention to New Year's. In a week we will welcome in the new year with arms outstretched, ushering it in with pomp and circumstance and embracing it lovingly, eyes full of stars and heart full of optimism. And we will inevitably make outrageous New Year's Resolutions that we will break before the month is out.


So...in that noble tradition of making promises to better myself in the new year...here is my 'plan'.

1. Will give up the following as they are going to cause me to die before I see 40: Sugar, white flour, processed foods of any kind, fast food and carbonated drinks.

2. Will do my Bowflex exercises Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays without fail. Will walk on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Sunday was God's day of rest and if it was good enough for him then by god, I'm resting on Sunday.

3. Will not involve myself with little boys, but form mature relationship with a man who respects me (if such a mythical creature still exists).

4. Will weed people out of my life who do nothing but drain my energy and happiness.

5. Will go to school EVERYDAY unless I am truly ill.

6. Will save money so that I can go to NYC with Vanessa and behave like a wanton Bohemian.

7. Will try to stop yelling at Aslan...but may be impossible as he will not stop yowling in the wee hours of the morning and I have 8 o'clock classes this semester.

....I have every intention of keeping these resolutions

...for at least the first week.

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